4th Annual CYAF Conference Assembly

Venue: United Church of Christ in the Philippines

Titay, Zamboanga Sibugay

Date: May 10-12, 2012

--- raising a 4-CARAT diamond FAMILY ---

I.                    Introduction

During our BTR we focused more on the role of the family in effective Christian stewardship and servanthood.  We have agreed that the family is the most important part or plays crucial role in impressing and passing on the faith to the next generation.

Linda and Richard Eyre in their book “Teaching Your Children Values” declare that the “house” will never-should never, can never be replaced as the institution where basic values are learned and taught.[1]  If we fail to teach children values, they will eventually form or develop values possibly different from ours and different from what formed us.

A story in the OT resonates this.  In our Exodus reading, we find Moses fighting an Egyptian for oppressing a Hebrew.

Don’t you find this intriguing?

In my MDiv thesis, I pointed out that Moses could have been 3 months old when his mother decided to place him in a basket.  So he must be 3 months old when the princess of Egypt took him as her own son.  From 3 months old until he was declared prince of Egypt, he was raised, tutored and form with Egyptian culture, values and religion in the Egyptian court.  How was it possible that in a split of a second, he denounced all the luxury, privileges and stature of an Egyptian prince and replace it with a life on the run?

I submit that while Moses was raised as Egyptian, at the bosom of his mother, Moses was reared with faith in the One God, a God who loved the Hebrew and will rescue them from oppression. And this prompted Moses to defend the Hebrew against the oppressive taskmaster.

II.                  RESOURCES IN RAISING A FAMILY

During the BTR, you were asked to build a house given recycled materials… what are these recycled materials we need to build our home with?

A.      Faith in God.

Sabi ni Ronald Reagan on the issue of teaching religion in classroom, “We don’t expect children to discover the principles of calculus on their own, but some would give no guidance when it comes to ethics, morality and values…”[2] and may I add, “faith in God.”  William Raspberry added, “In our zeal to get religion out of the classroom, we throw out morality as well.”[3]

We cannot deny the connection between morality and faith.  For our faith in God dictates believers to live a moral/holy life.  History has proven the connection between amorality and decline of a society.

A society where faith in God is preached, taught and lived out, that society will surely withstand whatever challenges and storms it meets and will surely survive.

Daghan ang naghunahuna that it is religion that is the opium of the people and the cause why people remain poor.  And so these people try to take religion out of the conversation and replace it with ideological discussion.  To talk about our faith in God then is “corny.”

In an article in “Today’s Teen” we read this frightening passage, “Too strict a conscience may make you feel different and unpopular.  None of these feelings belong to a healthy personality.”[4]

                This is scary! How many of our young people kaya who feel and thing this way?

                But it is more scary if we do not take hold on to the teaching of the faith to our children… “they will float at the mercy of circumstances and situation and their lives will never be their own.”[5]

                I am sure you have heard of testimonies from grandparents and parent how their faith in God had tided them through the stormiest days of their lives.  Will our children have the same testimony? Will they have the same story to tell?

                If we don’t start telling them our stories of faith, they will never be able to assess and evaluate situations in the eyes of faith and their actions and decisions as expressions of their faith in God.

B.      Community of faith

The second resource we have in building our home is the community of faith.  The Shema, as read “Hear O Israel” clearly points to the collectiveness in the stewardship of the Christian faith.  The call is for the entire Israel nation… not just to an individual, or tribe or family. But the entire nation is called to keep the faith, teach the faith to their children and pass it to the next generation.  Passing of the faith should be a “collective endeavor and a cooperative venture”[6]

Kaya nga in our baptismal rite… the rite that initiates a child into the Christian faith, we have ninongs and ninang… and the Minister charges the “ninongs and ninangs” with the same task as that of the parents, not only in nurturing the child but also in teaching the faith!  Hindi lang tayo ninong at ninang na nagtatago tuwing pasko… but we are ninong ang ninang especially in  nurturing the faith.  Hindi tayo nakakaligtas sa hamon ng Shema dahil hindi tayo parent.  Kasama tayong lahat charged and called to make Shema as our guide… in reclaiming the role in teaching the faith and in living out the faith in our lives.

Our reading in the OT points this to us.  Moses was saved and through him the Hebrew people were saved because he was saved collectively by …ehem… women… of the midwives… of the mother and the sister… and the princess.

C.       The Sanctuary

We go to church to worship.  But we need not limit our worship in the church.  We can have our home as our sanctuary.

Following the format of the worship service where we praise and worship God, offer our confessions, listen to God’s Word and go out to serve, I offer the 4-Cs, the 4 carats of a diamond family:

C-OMPLIMENT (or Praise) .  The Duke of Wellington, near the end of his life was asked what one thing he would change if he could live his life over again, “I would give more praise” was his reply.  As the song goes, “compliment what she does, send her roses just because… it its violin she wants… let her have it…”  Mas madali kasi nating Makita ang mali ng ating kapamilya… dahil ditto lumalamig na ang ating mga kapuso… at ang magkakapatid ay nag-aaway.  Hahay… manuod ka na lang sa TV.  Usong-uso na ngayon ang mga magkakapamilya nag-aaway… mga kapuso nag sasakitan… at magkakapatid nagpapatayan… the latest of which is Ara Mina hinabla ng libel ang kanyang sariling kapatid na si Christine Reyes.  Let’s praise each other.  If the Bible tells us, “God lives in the praises of His people” so our family lives in complimenting one another.

C – ONFESS and give each other another CHANCE.  Why is confession a regular part of our worship service?  It is because we need to clear any hindrances in our relationship with God.  This is the cleansing part of any relationship.  And yet, in the family, this is the most neglected part.  We do not confess… we do not admit our mistakes and failures with one another.  Admitting our sins to one another helps us grow and clears the hindrances in our relationships. 

C-ONVERSATION instead of sermons.  Discuss with members in the family concepts, values and faith experiences and expressions.

So my son once asked, “bakit kailangang pumunta ng church? Sa school may chapel na kami. Araw-araw naman ang subject naming sa Bible…”  Instead of “magsermon… ano ba…. Di pa kayo bihis malelate na tayo sa church…” it is best to bring into conversation and discussion.

C-OMMIT to reward positive behavior.  Overlook negativity and reward positive behavior.  So my son played the drum even if he complained all the way… dahil di daw sya marunong magdrum… kesyo di raw tama ang pagda-drum nya.  After the worship service, he had his icecream and the entire Praise and Worship team.

III.                Where is your family now?

a.        List down compliments/praise for members of the family

b.      Confess –confess your failures – what second chance are your giving each member of the family

c.       What issues of faith do you need to converse with member of your family

d.      Commit this week to reward your

-          Spouse with _____________

-          Child/children with ________________

-          Parent with __________________

PRAYER OF DEDICATION FOR THE FAMILY

---

[1] Linda and Richard Eyre.  Teaching Your Children Values. New York:Riverside, 1993.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Ibid.

[5] Ibid, p14

[6] Mine….