Never realized how this username that I chose for myself has been put to a test... until now...
in my username, I just declared that i am first nanay before i am a pastor. that in every decision i make, I make sure that my being nanay comes uppermost.
then, I take on a church assignment that takes me away from my children. this declaration has been challenged. how can I be a nanaypastor while taking on a church assignment away from my children.
May i reflect: even as i take a church assignment away from my family, i thought that by leaving them behind was the best decision a mother could take. If i take them with me in a church assignment unknown to me at that moment, i have placed my children's security at risk. where will they go to school? how are they going to adjust to a new, unknown environment. whereas, where they are right now, they are secured. their education (the quality of their education) is assured. Hindi nga... dito lang sila sa PCU at the care of their father. mas secure sila dito. mas maaalagaan sila.
But i miss being a mother to them. Like waking them up in the morning...preparing them to school... then, i ask, ano na nga ba ang pagiging ina? what does it mean to be a mother? Is mothering all about tasks? doing something? Isn't mothering more of a relationship than a job to be done?
From the distance, I can still be a mother. I can still take care of them... nurture them.. remind them to do their best...At the same time I can be a pastor. as i reflect on this being a NanayPastor is not about doing a job... it is declaring my relationship to one and all. I am not just nanay to my biological children... I am also nanay to those who consider me their nanay.
I am also a pastor... not just to my parishioners but also to my own children. Being a pastor is not a position, a rank but a relationship. I take care of the sheep God has entrusted to me which includes my children, the members of the local church where I am assigned and to everyone.
and so I declare! I am NanayPastor... walang conflict...di dapat paghiwalayin. Puede akong maging nanaypastor malapit man ako o malayo sa mga anak ko o sa parishioners.
This picture aptly describe who I am... arms stretched out to welcome everyone who needs my care, my guidance, my presence. NanayPastor po ako!
